Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Kristin and her family made it to the LAND OF ENCHANTMENT yesterday. That's really what New Mexico is called. I know that is hard to believe but it's true. After 2 days of traveling, 18 1/2 hours in a mini van and 3 very sick kids (complete with vomiting and bathroom issues)........they arrived in the not so enchanted city of Roswell. I know I am very lucky to have never seen a cockroach and I know that cockroaches are everywhere.......but I will not move to New Mexico no matter how much I miss Kristin and her adorable children. Even after extensive bug spraying Kristin said yet another cockroach wandered out this morning and died a slow torturous death. And there is actually a tarantula season in Roswell. You could walk outside and see 20 or more of the furry creatures on your front lawn. Oh and the scorpions! They are the worst because they are poisonous. If those creatures aren't enough of a deterrent, Roswell is known for "Aliens" and even the local Wal Mart has pictures of aliens in the windows. If the residents are trying to make the city less appealing then they have succeeded. But the weather is nice in New Mexico in the winter. It was in the 60's when they arrived. Kristin's husband does have a great job in The Land of Enchantment and I'm sure they will make New Mexico a great experience. I am already missing Kristin and her kids terribly. I miss Ericka more than she knows too. It has definitely been a year of losses. If one of my kids would just move to a beach city I'd be there in a minute.

And just a little update to my last post: Doctors may know something. According to my bloodwork I have a pretty good infection going on (so much for remission). I'm taking Levaquin for 10 days and then having more tests done. All the positive thinking in the world is not fixing my medical problems. I need a small miracle at this point.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

What do doctors know anyway? (Sorry Ben)

So I went to my infectious disease doctor today. She's the one who is in charge of all the antibiotics I take for my infections. She tends to frustrate me and yet I really like her. She has a very different philosophy than most of the doctors I see. She puts her patients in charge (with limitations) of their own treatment. I already have a hard enough time making simple decisions about where to go for lunch and what to make for dinner........ so you can see why this can be problematic for me. Anyway after about 40 minutes of talking (yes she really spends that much time with each patient) she said "Some people would just rather have their foot amputated to avoid further infections and problems and learn to walk with a prosthetic foot. And then there are people who just want to wait and see what will happen. Those people usually end up having to get their foot amputated anyway but they feel better just waiting". I'm thinking that my doctor really thinks it is a good idea to get an amputation but she doesn't want to just come out and say it. So then I asked her if that was her opinion and she said "It's not my choice and I can't tell you what to do. You have to do what you feel is best for you". So I said since my infection is in "remission" right now then I'm not going to have my foot cut off. And she adds (just to make her point really clear) "You know you are in denial about your health". Well......maybe I am in denial a little but I want my foot and I'm keeping it for now! And that is my FINAL decision.......for the moment anyway. I did leave with a prescription for a lot of Clindamycin which I can take whenever I feel the infection coming back. That way I can take the antibiotics for 10 days and avoid the infections getting so horrendous. And for now I can keep dreaming about living on the beach with 2 feet (minus 2 toes) and walking blissfully in the warm sand. I love denial.

Friday, December 19, 2008


Only 5 days until Christmas Eve.
It is cold and snowy again. I think it's a given that I pretty much have no nice feelings about snow or cold whatsoever. So this morning as I walked into Target with the icy wind blowing in my face, I once again started to say mean (but true) things in my head about the weather. The comments go like this: "I hate cold. I hate snow. I really, really wish it was warm". So it occurred to me that maybe I should try a different approach to my severe dislike of cold. And I tried saying these things instead: "I have a really warm house to live in. I have a jacket and gloves." Of course I survived my shopping trip and eventually warmed up a little. And then tonight when I had to go out and shovel snow I tried very hard to be positive. I even told myself that the snow looked beautiful (a complete lie) and that we need snow for the water supply next summer. My arms ached, my legs had some serious muscle cramping going on, my back hurt and my fingers were frozen by the time I was done. BUT I am so grateful for my coat, gloves and warm house. (AND.......I still hate snow) New Mexico is looking better all the time.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


Only 6 days until Christmas Eve. It is snowing again. I really don't like snow at all.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

It's one week until Christmas Eve.